


Brendon Needs Nearly As Much Attention As His Cat

by Merkey666



Series: 2016 Au [4]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Brendon is annoying, Date Night, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9347513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merkey666/pseuds/Merkey666
Summary: Brendon has one of those days where everything is just a little to annoying and there's nothing you can do about it. Ryan tried to help. He really did.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Whenever I write these it's just me procrastinating writing anything else :) anyway, please let me know if you enjoyed!

Brendon always needed some form of complaint. Ryan had noticed this over the time they’d spent together. It ranged from sports Brendon didn’t really even understand, to a decision made on Lost, to the weather, which Ryan had expressed multiple times that he had no control over. 

That day's topics were all over the map. Ryan had been woken up by Brendon throwing little pebbles at him that he had found in the backyard, around the ungodly time of five am, when he had awoken. When Ryan had asked him what his problem was, Brendon sighed for about a minute and then pouted pitifully. 

“I don’t like the laundry detergent,” he eventually revealed. Ryan pulled his eye mask back over his eyes and rolled over on his sweet smelling sheets that were apparently a little too sweet. He was too tired to care what Brendon thought. He liked them.

“Ryan, can we please get a new detergent?” Brendon whined, still throwing rocks at him. They were probably covered in all manners of gross things that Ryan couldn’t bring himself to worry about, nor could he bring himself to draw up a shower. He drifted off too quickly to worry about anything at all. Brendon kicked him awake when he went still, and refused to stop no matter what Ryan groaned at him. Ryan pulled the covers up over his head and kicked him back, a little half-assedly. It was going to one of those days, he thought bitterly. 

“Ryan! Get up!” Brendon groaned, shaking him. Ryan swatted his hand away and smashed his face back into the pillow. But Brendon wouldn’t relent.

“Brendon, what time even is it?” Ryan’s words were a little muffled by his pillow, but Brendon was experienced in understanding the early morning Ryan. He was weird in the early hours, but still Brendon got every word down, communicating perfectly. And yet they still had problems.

“Sixty-thirty.” Ryan sat bolt upright and ripped off his mask. Brendon laughed as Ryan tried to push him off the bed. The two struggled for a few moments until fatigue crept back into Ryan and he collapsed next to Brendon on the floor.

“Hey, isn’t this how we ended last Saturday?” Brendon cracked. Ryan shot up again and shoved him away using both his hands and feet until Brendon was secure, curled in a ball, in the corner of their room. Ryan stood up and crawled back into bed before Brendon could stop giggling like a child. Ryan fell asleep in a matter of seconds, and for once, Brendon let him sleep. 

***

Brendon’s next complaint was over, unsurprisingly, the weather. Ryan heard very little of what he was saying, over the buzzing silence in his brain. He had learned to just block Brendon out, until his rant was over. 

“… Always sunny outside… absolute bullshit… L.A. NOT THE MOJAVE!” Then, following Brendon’s predictable train of thought, “Hey speaking of sunny, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is pretty…” And so on. Ryan ran his fingers through his greasy hair and tried to figure out an eight letter word for a bitter argument, similar to the one he was internally working on. Not that Brendon would ever hear it, because Ryan was much to nice to say any of the things he was thinking up. 

While Brendon worked up the ladder to a different subject he was unhappy with the outcome of, Ryan began to configure a plan to maybe, just maybe, steer his boyfriend away from driving him out of his own god damn mind. It involved many elements, all timed perfectly, and the outcome was dubious, but Ryan was faithful in his abilities. Now he had to actually think of the plan that was so incredible. 

“I cannot fucking believe that Netflix has the nerve to not have Jackass yet. It only has the stupid behind the scenes videos, which aren’t bad, but they’re not the same. You feel me?” Brendon asked, spooning ice cream into his mouth by the pint. 

“Mhm, oh yeah, I totally feel you,” Ryan mumbled, penning in that morning’s crossword. It was a pretty hard one, and he was already dedicating part of his energy to half listening to Brendon talk shit about every known thing in the universe. Ryan was pretty sure Brendon would try and roast the sun if he could. Come to think of it, Brendon probably had at some point. 

“I mean, it’s a important part of American culture, they can’t just cut it out like that! Ryan are you- are you even listening to me?” Brendon finally realized Ryan was half asleep and half doing a crossword and neither of those things involved him. That was not okay with Brendon. 

“How about dinner? Would you like dinner? Would that shut you up?” Ryan asked, but Brendon had already begun his Ryan Rant. 

“I woke up early with fuck-all to do, and now-"

“Brendon quit your whining for once. I’m asking you out on a date. Yes or no?” Ryan asked. Brendon’s spoon clattered in the sink, and Brendon rested his now free hand on his hip. Ryan’s inquiry hadn’t taken him nearly as by surprise as he’d hoped.

“What? Ryan you can’t just pull a reservation out of your ass,” Brendon replied, characteristically argumentative. Ryan stared at him for a few moments, solid as a rock, before sighing and standing up. He waddled over to Brendon and kissed him lightly once as incentive to be easy going. Ryan put his hands on Brendon’s shoulders and squeezed. 

“Do you want to go or not?” he asked, very slowly. 

“I- Yeah. Sure,” he sighed. 

“Sure, or yes? C’mon Brendon. Work with me here,” Ryan huffed. Crookshanks glared at Brendon from the couch. 

“Yes. Let’s go. I’d like that.”

~

“What do you want to drink? The wine list is iffy, but that’s only comparing it to what we’ve got at home-“

“You’re the one that wanted to come here,” Ryan reminded him.

“I know,” Brendon suddenly put the menu down, as some crazy idea had popped into his head. “Hey! Did you hear about the fire in Napa? God, why does everything awful-“

“Next. Zero fucks given.” Brendon sat there, quite shocked. Ryan looked back over the menu like it was nothing and did not realize something was astray for quite some time. It wasn’t until Ryan looked up, a gratuitous five minutes later, to gaze upon Brendon in the exact same position, with the same facial expression as the few moments prior. 

“Wha- Ugh, come on, Brendon.” Brendon glared a little harder through his glasses than normal. “It’s just that, you’ve been in this sort of… mood... all day now, and it’s getting on my nerves now. You want this, you want that, conversation goes in your direction, it’s annoying, babe. I’m sorry, what I said was rude, but I think I deserve an apology from you too,” Ryan replied earnestly. There was a pause in the action, where Brendon couldn’t quite tell if anything in that mini speech was particularly offensive, aka, whether or not he should make a scene over it. 

He sat back in his chair with his arms crossed, and with the barren look that one is often given by a five year old preparing to scream. Brendon was not the kind of person to scream because his feelings were hurt, but to be fair, he wasn’t about to give the silent treatment either. Over a plethora of girlfriends and boyfriends who had the time to put up with his shit, he’d convened the perfect amount of screaming and silence all in one. This was his perfectly crafted ‘rude awakening’ that Ryan called ‘making a scene’. 

Like he’d just dropped the sickest roast of 2017, he delicately took his napkin off his lap, set it on the table, and walked out of the restaurant. Ryan was ready to scream. 

***

Brendon was kind enough to take the car on his way home, leaving Ryan stranded in an awkward situation with the valet who was an underpaid college student with a license that was a little questionable. Ryan called for a cab instead of public transit and grumbled to himself the whole ride home, that wasn’t more than twenty minutes. 

He thanked the cab driver and paid the fare, the cab driving off down the drizzly avenue at a rate that would get him pulled over for sure. Ryan turned to face the front steps of his house with the darkest look possible on his soft features. 

“I might actually kill him today. Yes, this’ll be it for sure. I can see the headlines now: Ryan Ross killed boyfriend in mad fit that boyfriend drove him into?! That would make a lovely Buzzfeed article,” he thought maliciously. All at once, on the dampened welcome mat, Ryan had the grizzly epiphany that if Brendon had the car keys, he would also have had the house keys, and Ryan was to stupid to leave out a hide-a-key. The level of grey that that thought was on rivaled the sky above. 

With a heart heavy from the burning desire to stab something, Ryan knocked on the door and waited. He was hungry too, he realized at that moment. He still had’t had dinner. A weird scratching noise came from under the door, that he instantly recognized as Crookshanks clawing at the door, which meant Brendon was not en route. 

He knocked again, this time with more urgency and vigor, a knock or an angry, angry man. The sounds of commotion came from inside, stomping, a glass being slammed onto marble counter tops, the usual. To Ryan’s surprise, the door was practically ripped from its hinges, and he was whisked inside like he was mid-dance. There were suddenly a pari of lips on his, and he surely hoped they were Brendon’s. He pulled away for a split second at best, only to close the door and to confirm, before burying himself back in Brendon’s arms. 

it quickly dissolved from aimlessly kissing out apologies, which is what Ryan assumed that was. Ryan slipped a hand from Brendon’s neck to back to the curve of his ass. He quickly moved the both of them back, until Brendon was against a wall and his own hand had to be removed. Brendon squeaked a little as Ryan pushed himself onto Brendon, but it was not a squeak of unhappiness or complaint.

Neither took a moment for granted, not a second went to waste, no movement not mirrored by the other. Most certainly, neither had time to think before they spoke, not that much speaking was going on. It waster grunting and whining, rather than words. Eventually, Brendon got out a clear enough sentence.

“Jesus, I can’t decide if this will make me better or worse,” he groaned as Ryan pressed kisses onto his neck. This little outburst caught Ryan by surprise, who chuckled and looked up at him. Brendon’s face was flushed and he was smiling nervously, clearly too unfocused to keep a semi-normal look on his face.

“I guess we’ll just have to find out,” Ryan murmured, biting Brendon’s lip softly. Brendon’s hands worked their way up his shirt and slipped it over his head. 

“And if I only get more annoying?” Brendon asked, giving Ryan 'The Eyes'.

“Then maybe I’ll just have to punish you,” Ryan smiled and pressed his lips onto Brendon’s who was grinning broadly. 

~

“Jesus fuck I needed that,” Brendon panted. Ryan burst out into short bursts of laughter.

“Yeah I noticed. You were whiny all day. I was ready to strangle you around lunch time,” Ryan laughed. Brendon looked over at him, one arm behind his head. 

“Thanks,” he whispered, and by the tone of voice, Ryan could tell he was about to get really sappy. “For putting up with me and all. I know I’m a brat sometimes, and I do shit like put gum under the coffee table and steal your money, but in all fairness I’m really not that bad of a lay. I’d say I’m fairly good, actually.” Ryan choked on a laugh. That’s not what he was expecting. 

“Add big-headed to your list,” Ryan chuckled. Brendon purred out an innuendo, which only resulted in Ryan turning away from him and trying to hide his smile. 

“Hey, I might be big headed and bratty but I can be… really nice too. I hope I can.” Brendon’s voice got quiet all of the sudden. Ryan rolled over and looked down at him. 

“God Brendon you’re too good for me.” Ryan kissed his hand calmly. Brendon sighed and scooted closer under the sheets. The bed was mildly damp from sweat and other things, but the feeling was too special to pass off.

“I’m not, really,” Brendon squirmed to keep from smiling really big. Ryan made a noise somewhere between a giggle and a sigh and kissed his hand again. Brendon looked up at him with big watery eyes that were calm and happy and a little tired too, so Ryan pulled him in close and ran his fingers through Brendon’s dark hair. While Ryan’s heartbeat rocked Brendon to sleep, Ryan watched the ceiling and tried to ignore the pebble that was sticking uncomfortably into his back. If he wasn’t so tired, he would’ve said something, but then again, the moment was really too special to pass off.

“No, you’re too good for me, Ry,” Brendon whispered against Ryan’s bare chest, where goosebumps rose from both the words and the breath that lashed his skin. Ryan smiled down at Brendon, who fought back his own smile, just as argumentative as ever.


End file.
